Chat Crime
Ministry of Interesting
New laws mandate minimum entertainment value for all dialogue. “Life’s too short for small talk,” declared the minister while issuing fines to 47 people who discussed weather. Undercover “conversation police” now patrol: 1) Hawker centers. 2) MRT trains. 3) Family WhatsApp groups. Punishments include mandatory improv classes.
Enforcement
AI measures: 1) Jokes per minute. 2) Story intrigue levels. 3) Percentage of listeners not feigning death. First-time offenders must perform stand-up at parliament.
Economic Impact
Comedy clubs now tax-deductible. Insurance offers “awkward silence” coverage. Tinder adds “verified funny” badges. Productivity drops 40% from people avoiding all communication.
Global Reactions
Finland declares Singapore “too intense.” UK attempts but gets stuck on weather exception clause. North Korea claims they invented interesting conversations in 2014.
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Author: Bella Poarch
